Child custody disputes can be emotional and complex, especially when older children begin expressing preferences about which parent they want to live with. If you’re facing a custody matter in Colorado, one of the most frequently asked questions is: Can a child decide which parent to live with? While a child’s wishes do matter, Colorado law doesn’t give them the final say, even in 2025.

At Littman Family Law in Denver, we’ve helped countless families understand how custody decisions are made and how the courts weigh a child’s voice. This blog will walk you through how child preference factors into legal decisions, what age matters most, and what parents should consider when navigating this sensitive issue.

Colorado’s Standard for Custody: Best Interests of the Child

Colorado law does not use the term “custody” anymore; instead, it refers to “parental responsibilities,” which include:

  • Decision-making authority (education, health care, religion)
  • Parenting time (physical care and contact schedule)

Under Colorado Revised Statute §14-10-124, all decisions regarding parental responsibilities must be made based on the best interests of the child. This standard guides the court in evaluating many factors, including, but not limited to, a child’s preferences.

Does a Child Get to Choose in 2025?

As of 2025, Colorado law does not set a specific age at which a child can decide which parent to live with. Instead, judges have discretion to consider the child’s wishes depending on their age, maturity, and reasoning. A child’s preference is just one of several factors that may influence the court’s decision.

According to the statute, the court shall consider “the wishes of the child, if he or she is sufficiently mature to express reasoned and independent preferences.” This means:

  • Younger children (under 12) are less likely to have their preferences weighed heavily.
  • Teenagers (ages 14+) may have more influence, especially if their reasons are thoughtful and free of outside pressure.

However, no matter how old the child is, their preference is not the sole deciding factor. The court must still assess whether that preference aligns with their overall well-being.

Factors the Court Considers Alongside Child Preference

To ensure that the final custody arrangement serves the child’s best interests, Colorado courts evaluate a broad set of factors, including:

  • The emotional bonds between the child and each parent
  • The parents’ ability to place the child’s needs ahead of their own
  • The mental and physical health of all parties
  • The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
  • Each parent’s involvement in the child’s life and decision-making
  • History of domestic violence, abuse, or substance use
  • The ability of each parent to support the other parent’s relationship with the child

Judges are trained to look for signs that a child’s preference may be influenced by manipulation, guilt, or short-term desires (e.g., wanting fewer household rules). A mature, well-reasoned preference, like wanting to stay in the same school or be closer to siblings, will carry more weight.

How Does the Court Learn the Child’s Preferences?

Children are generally not required, or encouraged, to testify directly in open court. Instead, their views are often presented through:

  • Child and Family Investigators (CFIs): These are neutral professionals appointed by the court to interview the child, parents, and other key individuals. They submit a report with recommendations to the judge.
  • Parental Responsibility Evaluators (PREs): More in-depth than CFIs, PREs typically include psychological assessments and detailed evaluations of both households.
  • Therapists or counselors: With proper consent and court approval, mental health professionals may share the child’s perspectives.

These professionals ensure that the child’s voice is heard without placing them in the middle of a courtroom dispute.

Can Children Choose at 18?

Yes. Once a child turns 18, they are legally an adult and can choose where to live without court involvement. However, if a parenting plan exists for a child under 18, any changes must be approved by the court or agreed upon by both parents.

How to Support a Child During Custody Decisions

Whether your child wants to express a preference or not, it’s important to support them without pressuring them. Consider these tips:

  • Encourage open communication: Let your child talk about their feelings without influencing their opinions.
  • Avoid making promises: Never assure a child that they’ll get to choose or that one outcome is guaranteed.
  • Don’t speak negatively about the other parent: Courts look closely at a parent’s ability to foster a healthy co-parenting relationship.
  • Involve professionals: Therapists and child specialists can help children work through emotions and present their views in a healthy way.

We Help Parents Navigate Complex Custody Issues

At Littman Family Law, we understand how important your child’s voice is and how important it is to ensure that voice is heard appropriately. Whether you’re facing an initial custody determination or a modification, our team is here to advocate for your child’s best interests and your rights as a parent.

We have extensive experience with Colorado custody law, child preference considerations, and representing parents in family court throughout the Denver area. We’ll help you build a strategy that prioritizes your child’s well-being while positioning you for a favorable outcome.

If you have questions about child custody or want to know how your child’s preferences may affect your case, contact us today for a confidential consultation. Let us help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

smiling young girl